Each day, we are all faced with something that may either challenge us, fail us, succeed us, or even surpass us. When Grandma passed away, I have felt lost and in the dark. I was still passing through life, doing whatever I could to get through the day without sorrow. I even got to the point that was forgetting how to live. I was just performing my duties as a human being on this planet, just trying to survive.
These last few days have been different. Spring is in Colorado, the birds are singing again, the lake is thawed out, and the spring breeze is blowing through my house. Yesterday morning, as I sat on my patio watching the glittering waters move across the lake, I started feeling alive again. With Kenny by my side, he held my hand as I told him I finally feel like it's OK to let go.I no longer feel the burden of loss on my shoulders.
I finally remember what life is worth living for. Now, don't get me wrong - I have never stopped appreciating the life God gave me. I never lost my faith in Him, nor have I ever questioned my own existence. I just have had to learn how to live life without my Grandma there to talk to.
I miss her voice, her laughter, and her stories so badly. She is still the first person that crosses my mind when I have big news to share. Today, I finally realize that she already knows without me having to tell her. In fact, I truly believe she has a lot to do with the good things that have been happening for my family lately.
God took my grandma and turned her into our Guardian Angel. I know I will be with her again when my time comes. Until then, I will continue to thank my Angel for guiding me in the right direction. And I will thank God every day for giving me the strength to see past my adversaries, and to live life to the fullest.
I feel like it's finally OK to let go, and to live on.
